temporary insanity…perennial bliss

Walking alone in the breeze, on the beach but where is she?

the one who made me sit at night,

for hours together aah blissful sight:

what is bliss but her mere

presence causes absence of fear!

of the world no one was dear

the path to life was really clear

early morn or deep in the night

not one tear or cause of fright

bling! oh there, she is in dreams;

in sweet meadows and flowing streams,

dust and heat with powercut nights

caused me to be in pitiful plight

walking alone, smiling wide and bright

even with honking and sights causing much blight

crazy am I to be in such bliss

temporary insanity I so nearly missed

what is it but a refuge for the sane

whose decisions for the world may seem insane

for the warm hand which took me out of my quicksand

Numb…

A link, a thought, a blink? I dare not!

what words of pain, so fateful its insane!

bull! fate is fart, but accidents are not,

half drunk, awake, changing diapers really late,

whatever the reason, she is gone, like the season gone wrong,

all night she’ll appear; in your dreams for years.

Shall I die, shall I leave; but who said I’m alive? its just reel.

Punctuations, exclamations, starvations, generations

random words floating around, Im blank all in this sound,

what words can heal, I not know,

but have been in deep snow,

I gave up and waited low,

for dementors to kiss me slow,

then I felt a warm hand,

that dug me from my quicksand,

You will find, just like me,

life does not end with she,

It is cruel, it is hard,

but it wont stay that way pard.

for my pal…

box of chocolates

How far I’ve gone or come?

from the nearest bottle of rum,

from pillar to pillar just pipped at the post,

all for better now that I know

Ferrero rocher is good

Bournville is better though!

finally have staved my sweet tooth

digging it to some dark passion fruit

yummy yummy it fills my tummy

much like a buffet in taj would.

Happy at last, outdone the f*rts

finally at the stool

which saved me from hunger

at a time of povertyhood

amazing what wonders

my box of chocolates could

between brick walls

Shouldering arms, letting things go

arms alas are trying to row

far away from days gone by

never wanting to see the sky

A smile, tear or whisper near

afraid of ghosts at each turn

alas no turn in this tunnel appears

to run into enemies unknown.

Caught instead in the crack of walls

waiting for spiders – the last call

whether up or down I go

without incident shall I ne’er know?

dementors wait in laughters chill

smiles that make souls shrivel!

where to go, what to do?

spiders everywhere, I am doomed.

Thoughts on a footboard

Its a poem so bear with me….

Sitting alone in the light, darkness burns me from inside,

Waiting for light to shine in, free me from any of my sins,

Bright as day the sun glows, shining upon twinkly toes,

twitter of birds and smell of trees, flies the kite into the breeze,

in a moment they all pass, momentary madness I see at last

of how the world makes us see, only ne’er to set us free,

shows us joy, love and tears , finally all is left are fears,

day was gone evening came, beauty of twilight making me insane,

stiff breeze with yapping all around, sound of nature so profound

hard to believe we are here, thinking these thoughts without fear,

of what might come or what might not,  just memories of the day gone past

leaving us with moments to see, hear and think whatever we please,

as the twilight passed swiftly by, leaving memories of memories gone by

I hear myself thinking of thoughts, snap come out of it! or you are lost.

Knight came with its own agenda, of making me aware of every blunder,

but like the flickers of the lamps, I see a streetlight, bulb or an oil lamp;

unaware of sitting in the light, ended up searching for a sign

all around there was glow, but all I cared was for one to show

the way forward of my life, forked are the highways of strife.

sitting alone with these thoughts, on the footboard of the proverbial sort

I saw the station coming in. There it was as much light out as in.

Yaaaaawwwwnnnnn….WP what year is it?

Wow…just got my answer from the windows calendar facility in my sis’s windows machine..with a nice widescreen acer 19 inch monitor(loooks aweesssooommmeee)…its been three months since my last blog post…feels like a real hibernation(well funnily even the timing kinda matches with the deplorable chinna summer called winter in chennai). Anyways..I have so many things I wanna tell you..but if I did all that this would be the ‘highlights of  last three months’ instead of oruaviyindiary …so let me start of by talking abt my New Year.

Considering that December had both Christmas and new year it was a great time for me to just chill and not bother abt anything in life…well I wish atleast…had to learn a language…and create an app with loads of complicated two three line Mathematical formulae plus had to do this by new year(needless to say I didnt…but I did make considerable progress though…if that matters)…but then christmas came and went before I could blink…

Thats when I was doubly sure that new year Im going to have fun even if I end up breaking a leg!…and lo behold just when I thought the least I could do is go to the beach and start shouting like a jobless hag when the clock strikes twelve my saviour arrived in the form of dilip..so happily being invited to a private party I wore a stupid pink shirt and dragged my unshaven self to the Green Park hotel…

Thankfully that place had a saloon and I shaved before ppl started suspecting whether a beggar had sneaked in somehow…but my fashion disaster of a shirt could not be taken off for a more acceptable attire…worst still it was a glitter themed party..thankfully the lights were out soon and ppl were partying hard enough not to notice(atleast thats what I hope happened)…so I danced away with all the rigour of a person desperate to have fun after a long time…

Like I said…I was going to have fun even if I broke my leg…well…I wish I hadnt thought like that cus I damn nearly broke it!…the dance floor was pretty old because of which the boards were not on an even keel(thats the reason the guy who sets the board gave me). Funnily I saw this earlier in the evening and actually asked him and expressed my fear that some0ne might twist their ankle to my friend and other organizers…Little did I suspect that poor soul would end up being moi!!!

Anyway, I was dancing away with all my vigour when lo behold I twisted my ankle at around 11:40 PM!!! just 20 mins to midnight and I cant even celebrate!!! No way I said to myself…so after a short rest and some excellent first aid massaging from my friend with the usual ice packs I was determined to ignore pain…damn Im not going to let my new year start off with me watching from the sidelines moaning away at my misfortune…hell that aint never gonna happen…so much to the chargin of my friends and the delight of the fellow party goers I was back on the floor(keeping away from the joins of course)..and danced my way to midnight at 2k9…for a long time one of my friends had this status message…2008 sucks big time..2009 come soon!…it would’ve been okay from even oct…but this dude had the same status message on gtalk since feb 2k8!!!…well dude…if ur reading this I hope u aint looking forward to 2k10 now!! …anyway..I had a rough 2k8 2k9 has started suprisingly in a promising manner….lets see where it goes…as for me…like Bilbo biggins said…’I think Im ready for another adventure’…

khabi kudh par hasaya…(k)abhi khud par roya

wierd things happen when you are laughing…you never notice the ppl who are crying right next to you…and when you cry you expect ppl arnd u not to be happy…fat chance dipshit…

I aint here to give life’s lessons…but things I see arnd me and things I do(am sure Im doing many things wrong) kinda make me sick…like a comment mentioned in my senseless violence post…we Indians are used to ppl dying arnd us…and sometimes even joke abt it in a sarcastic way..you never realise the gravity of it till it happens to you…

Right now…I have nothing to do…nothing to write abt…nothing to look forward to…nothing to be proud about…hmmm…is that to be laughed at because I have a tension free life or is it to be cried for because I have done nothing meaningful??? Meaningful…funny…I never thought things I did anytime…but apparently they made sense to someone who was listening…how often have we done things which seemed trivial and unimportant to us but we did it because it was the right thing…usually they turn out to be the sanest and the best decision we could have made at that time…but hey if we start doing stuff because we know its gonna do some good…there is nothing wrong in that either…

coming back to the topic…well…will continue this later…time to catch my bus

the end of the line

You know there is a lakshman-rekha…or as they say elsewhere in the world…a pt of no return…no one has ever been able to fixate where that point lies…how to identify if u are nearing the pt…and u only know u have crossed the pt of no return when u actually cross the pt of no return…

 

No amt of speculation…no amt of wishy washing can take the brutal reality of the fact that things can never be the same again…no amt of mollycoddling and pleading will change it…no amt of praying and braying will heal it…basically you cant do shit after that…

 

When you reach that point…you have two options…to accept it and move on…or dwell on it and die…and the choice is not as logical as it seems…some ppl are more inclined to and attracted by self destruction while others find this an opportunity for self appraisal and correction…you cannot fault either for the choice he makes because well…thats why its called a choice right?

 

Its not enough that you change…the people you want forgiveness from need to change as well

That quote was from a movie called The Last Dance…I found it quite surreal actually…
Time is ticking away…I have a date with fate…lets see when morning decides to show up…

Almost Forgot…Happy B’day Gandhi dude…hope ur rest has been peaceful…and hope you dont find reasons to get up for a while…well even if u do u cant so chill man

Mindless Madness

Senseless Deaths

If there was anything which makes any sense to you about the above link…pls lemme know..in the meantime feel free to read my views on this

Ok…first of all…all religious fanatics and general VHP, RSS, SIMI,(christian grps), etc etc ppl who believe its ok to kill for religion read my post and leave a comment or you are welcome to fuck off from my blog…your presence here makes my online avatar’s wireless blood agitate all the electrons nearby…now for the action

Recently I have been observing a very interesting trend…first bangalore..hyderabad…bombay…ahemedabad…delhi…delhi…gujarat…XYZ…XYZ(probably hyderabad and bangalore in that order)…the blasts have been in shopping areas…near mosques…basically places where ppl will die…and in all that while the last thing we need is jingoism which unfortunately is the only thing which we seem to have? I mean we have the maximum death toll to any other country than Iraq!!! we are definitely screwing up somewhere big since even ‘dangerous’ countries like pakistan dont feature in that list!!!…Yesterday a friend of mine joked when we were going to have a bomb blast every week…as if it were some weekend picnic decision…but sadly thats the way it is right now…but what can a poor blogger do but crib abt it and hope that he lives to write another post…cheerio

Anusha: Why didnt you tell me before you were gonna give me a surprise b’day party?? I would have stayed home!!

ok…I know its a long title..but this post wouldnt have made sense without that as the title and nothing else…

I always was under the impression that surprise b’day parties were supposed to be…well a surprise!!!..come to think of it..maybe many of ur friends had also uttered such awesome party funny moments…well my friend is pretty special…she is probably one of very few ppl who shout, get bugged, curse me but still I dont feel any anger…infact its almost like my sister is shouting at me…you either brush it aside…or have a nice fight which u forget in like 10 seconds …anyway this babe had her b’day on 28th…man was it hilarious or what… I was the one who came up with the idea of giving her a party…but it was Dilip who came up with literally everything!!!!…

Well lemme start from the beginning…me, dilip and Anusha are all part of this group called YFE Chennai(Youth for Equality)…we were/are still mindless romantics trying to do our bit to change our country and try to prevent unreasonable exploitation and reverse discrimination…more than all this the fact which drew all of us together was the overwhelming fact that our country has been and is being taken for a ride by politicians by using false data, illogical words but alot of ‘we belong to your caste’ jingoism to meet their own stinking ends…anyway…YFE bought us together..and friendship kept us together..even now I sometimes wonder with amazement how so many of us with such different backgrounds end up being so friendly an helpful…its kinda surreal…anyways flashback over…back to the story now

So due to majorly nt having any mode of transport except my own two feet for which Im really thankful…esp in chennai I called up vivek and dilip whether they were interested in giving a surprise b’day party to…tan ta dan… Anusha. Well we both almost ‘hit’ it off in our first meeting itself…literally…but thats a story for another day..when I have nothing to write …well…lemme put it this way…she is one of the coolest and awesomely independent women I have ever met…and well she aint gonna take shit from anyone…and is refreshingly honest and straightforward(which I absolutely admire)…and probably one of the few ppl who is brutally honest and expects brutal honesty…seri vishayathukku varen…sorry I kinda do this alot…disgressing I mean…

So basically I asked vivek to get the cake but he couldnt spare time cus his kid bro had come to town and he was showing him the sights(literally )…so dilip(really sweetly) went till egmore to buy a really yummmy black forest cake with some party crackers(or whatever they are called..dil correct me pls)…then we arrived at Anusha’s place…and would you believe it…her house was locked…Then I started getting those murderous looks from vivek and dilip(esp dilip since he had travelled like a zillion miles for this)…But in my defence I called up Anusha at 12:20 to ask her if she was at home…she said she was…and we had german class at 2..so I assumed she was having lunch at home…I called up Anusha…and thankfully their family(an awesomely honest and hilarious mom…a really cool care a damn sis) was having soru at some kerlala place nearby…so off we went…with the parcel in hand…and lo behold…we managed to surprise Anusha …and when we narrated the incident of how we came home etc…she uttered those golden words

Why didnt you tell me before you were gonna give me a surprise b’day party?? I would have stayed home!!

Well…she cut her cake…embarassed her in a restaurant by singing her a birthday song…spoilt her chicken lunch(which she had in the evening btw) by giving her cake…I was dead hungry and so I had an extra large portion…vivek had his usual size to size proportional portion…dilip was afraid to spoil his camera so skipped the cake(ironic considering he was the one who put in so much effort to buy the cake in the first place)…and me and Anusha got dropped(anusha went home for a bit to pickup her books) at ‘in a word’ to attend another regular german class…and ya…thats abt it…awesome day it was too…