an open letter to myself

Dear Respected the Right/Left/Center(depending on your political opinion) Honourable Mr. Avi,


For long has the world witnessed your diabolical tirade against anything acceptable. It is with great difficulty that I am writing this open letter since any letter encolosed in an envelope inevitably tends to go to the trash bin like that ICICI statement. I sincerely hope this open letter will result in closing this implorably despicable chapter, which is your existence.

Why are you like this? You make #widowJokes on twitter. Bug the life out of prominent twitteratti in your inescapable attempts at being funny. Do you even realize that being funny is a proprietary right of a select few who declare themselves to being funny? Do you even know that being funny means you can overstep the boundaries after convincing the people whose boundaries you are overstepping that it is only intended as a joke unless you’re an NRI who makes fun of RIs with tacky humour about arranged marriages?

First of all, you are a nobody. A nobody also includes an engineering graduate in case you were propping up that defense. There are more engineering graduates in India than the population of Greece. And look where Greece is right now! Anybody who is a nobody will know that whatever you do everybody is going to criticize you because you mean nothing to anybody!!! How difficult is that for your cranium to digest! All you do is vomit insults trying to act your age when you clearly are under developed for your age group! Even worse is when you court the friendship of older ubercool persons who’ve swam against the current and made it in life. Everyone, especially the older ubercool people, know the only reason you do it is because you didn’t have the balls to go against the current! So why do you indulge in this insensitive extremely inconvenient brand of self damage?

The next round is the tinkerbells. The people who’ve just entered college to freshers gang. Note, these people are cleverer than you. They are only using you as a reference point as to what not to become when they reach your age. How blind can you be that you cannot see this plain and simple truth. Do you know you are embarassing everyone who has ever been associated with you? including yourself!! I hear your mirror pleads with you everyday to be someone other than you! why can’t you ever listen?

Last but not the least. Please disappear.


Yours Truly,

A fan which is spreading the shit that hit the roof.



About dairyman

A cat in a man's body who loves dogs. View all posts by dairyman

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