What a terrible last couple of weeks. Women who were seething anyway mostly consoling themselves that nothing can be done about the groping, letching and ‘brushing’ which they experienced on day to day basis have been shocked by what happened to a yet to be of voting age girl (not a woman, just a girl) manhandled…scratch that molested? Nope. Not strong enough. Violated by 50+ men for over half an hour!!!! HALF A FUCKING HOUR!!! That’s the amount of time an episode of MasterChef Australia comes on TV in HD, the amount of time an episode of How I Met Your Mother lasts. It’s not a few seconds where you don’t realize what’s happening and are in shock. No siree. It’s the amount of time where you’re in shock followed by fear followed by anger followed by helplessness and finally ending in resignation. This girl…all of 17…went through it. There are worse things that happen to girls that age in this country of course. Rape. Marriage. Marriage and then rape. Rape and then Marriage. Funny how most of these things have one thing in common, an overpowering man.
I have for a very long time tried to understand which part of the animal/mammal left in man is responsible for rape. However, the time I’ve spent watching the discovery channel or Nat Geo even Eminem videos, men or the male species of every animal first fights among itself for the right to mate then woos the female and only on her consent does it even approach the female. The FEMALE of every fucking species chooses the man it wants to mate with. So animal kingdom can be left out of the equation.
Let’s take insects then. The most organized or highly developed societal insects are the ants & the bees. The bees/ants have 1 QUEEN and a million workers and a few drones who mate with the queen only when called to action (so to speak) so it’s not from insects either. So who could’ve given it to us men?
The elusive ‘God’ (not the particle version. That is real). Let us just examine the metamorphosis of religion into a one stop authorization mechanism used by men (scrupulous and otherwise) to justify acts. Child Marriage, sati (still prevalent in Rajasthan some people say), sharing women after marriage (without consent), polygamy (in the garb of obsolete tradition), not allowed to participate in religious functions during periods, not allowing women into officialdom of religion (because god meant it that way). Through all these acts, men have it hardwired into them that women are of second class. In fact most men have to unlearn this to even accept that women and men are equal. On self-introspection, I am disgusted to learn that I actually think I am better because I think men and women are equal. Not NORMAL but BETTER. This might be a unique case of me alone or it could be more prevalent even among liberal men. Which again brings me to another question, what does being liberal/conservative have to do anything with treating women as equals. Why do we need to ‘treat’ women in the first place? Do we ‘treat’ other men?
I have been reading blogs of women opening up about abuses stored in the darkest parts of their memories. Painful, violating memories. The kind of things that we lock up and throw away the keys. Things like cheating on a partner, killing someone, stealing. Things that prick our conscience. But here’s the TERRIBLE part. All the things that we lock and throw away the key to are OUR mistakes. These women had to do it for something which they could do nothing about. These were not THEIR mistakes but still the scars are similar to the cases I pointed out earlier. Why? Again, it’s because of our so called ‘culture’. If a man rapes, the woman tempted him (just take a look at the moral stories we were fed, Vishwamitra is one that comes to mind. Even Jesus, the woman was the sinner, not the men who slept with her. Lop sided logic? Please give your comments about such lop-sided moral stories you can think of). Btw, I’m not trying to pin the blame on religion. All I’m saying is, we need to start teaching kids stories about respecting women. Nothing is as powerful as a story.
And to all the women who’ve been groped, brushed, violated by men, All I can say is sorry that the ones who didn’t and wouldn’t failed you by keeping quiet. I for one, won’t (have never seen a case either).